thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
