I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
