Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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