so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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