Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
