Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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