Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
