OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
