guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
They have beer where we have blood.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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