Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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