Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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