It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
