That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
