hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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