it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
