have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
