I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
