Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
