Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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