I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
North Korea, Best Korea!
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
