Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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