I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
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