Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
