oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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