i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
