He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
