I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
