You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
