Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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