So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
