Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
