So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
