That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
