You work out of a Hotel?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
