2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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