hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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