Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
