you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
