My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
