Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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