Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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