Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
