No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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