Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize
