I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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