i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
