Banned from zoo.
Again?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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