For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
