Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
