so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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