He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
